picture this... u're walkin with God... and u know whatevr... He's holding ur hand like the loving Father that He is... then something comes along the way, like a butterfly or something that just catches ur eye and excites u... u jump in excitement and start running, cuz u're so excited! and God being our Heavenly Daddy just watches us run, and smiles, cuz He knowz what's gonna end up happening, yet He watches over us and makes sure that we're okay. so this is kinda the situation i'm in right now. i find that i often get excited about certain thingz that God has blessed me with that i end up RUNNING... and like i leave Him behind.. so i go off and run and then i come to a point where itz either a HUGE HILL or a fork in the road, and i find myself confused and scared all at the same time.. and i turn around and see God coming towards me, then He lovingly takes my hand and tells me "it's okay.. i'm here... let's go this way" and takes me down the right path. so that'z where i'm at... just learning to not run.. hahaha.. learning to be still and be patient... knowing that God's timing is perfect and if i just stay in stride with Him, i won't end up lost and confused and scared... (just like a l'il kid... =)
wow... when God speaks.. GOD SPEAKS. i wuz just doing some reflection and journalling about everything that i've been blessed with.. cuz honestly, i'm not thankful enuff... so i wuz just jotting down the stuff that i've been given... and then i realized that with all those thingz comes a lotta thingz in the next few months or so that freak me out... like univ stuff.. portfolio interviews.. oh my... so i wuz writing how i have so much stuff to worry about... then WHAM! God smacks me upside the head telling me DON'T WORRY! bringing to mind the verse above... and something i learned way back when... itz about worrying being a sign of doubt.. cuz u don't trust enuff that God is GOD and that He's got everything under control... good lesson to learn, but it hurtz when u realize that's what you've been doing... =P
and yesterday was about spiritual dejection... goodness... had to look deject up in the dictionary (deject -- to have a depressing effect on; to dishearten)... spiritual dejection is usually the result of us focusing so much on God's answerz to our prayerz that we lose sight of God.... and we're so impatient, wanting His answerz NOW that we end up feeling disheartened, dispirited, apathetic too... oh my.. hard lessonz to learn... and the convicting part is that whatever the reason for our feeling dejected, we're alwayz the ones to blame. God's been teaching.. itz all linking.. been learning more and more, and scarily enuff they all lead back to having patience.. they all relate... =)
commitment, perseverence, patience, trust, faith, priorities, thankfulness... all lessonz being taught just in this past week. hahaha... oh my goodness.. i knew february was gonna be interesting with more time spent with God.. but never imagined to have so many lessons being taught all in the first week. i guess itz a preview of what's to come in the month(s) ahead. excited, yet scared at the same time... scared in a good way.. i think? =) meh... not gonna worrie.. just gonna let God do His thing and teach... =)
devo today wuz interesting... reading my utmost... sometimes they're hard to get, but reading 'em over more than once is good... get a better understanding... =) so today wuz about offering... interestingly enuff since i've been learning a lot about obedience and sacrifice... and this is the part that REALLY stood out... when u place ur offering on the altar, "see that you do not give way to self-pity when the fire begins"... makes sense. more than often we're alwayz looking at the stuff we're sacrificing and feeling bad cuz we're missing out, yet we forget that God's got bigger and better things in store for us.. we just gotta deny ourselves first and follow Him... takes crazie commitment and absolute trust... but again.. easier said than done...
so some final thots on sacrifice... and offering your everything... "Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be." all i ever dreamed? wow... and since He's God.. He's gonna be MORE than i dreamed... WOW... =) amazing....
wasn't gonna blog today, but i wuz thinking about the stuff that happened, and i just had to. oh wow.. today waz.. wow... amazing... awesome... way too cool for words.. hahaha.. but i'll try.. =) so yah.. beginning of the day wuz kinda blah.. coach didn't show up for practice.. but it wuz okay.. got to have fun w/ the girlz and joke around for yearbook photos.. whee!! so much fun... then CLASS.. which wasn't soo bad... learned some stuff.. took some notes... so yah.. then just got home @ lunch and still wuz kinda *shrugz* about stuff.. so spent some time with God.. asking Him to gimme strength and joy and what not.. just pull me through the day... and well praise God.. calc class wasn't as bad as it usually is... and after went to see my phys exam and my final mark.. praise God!!!! pulled out with a 91% after a mediocre exam... PRAISE GOD!! then fellowship... God is amazing.. fellowship was so... words can't describe kinda thing... played some games.. had worship.. prayer. and lots and lots of sharing.. so excited to see where God's gonna lead the fellowship.. we're supposed to start monday morning prayers next week.. ahh!!! can't wait!!!! just pray that i can get up in the morning.. *sigh* itz a case of the "spirit is willing, body is weak"...
anyway...realized today that i need to focus more on God and not just God.. but the needs of otherz too... after fellowship just got madly convicted about thinking about my own thingz.. *sigh* issuez with pride... pride never seems to go away... but God's been teaching.. humbling... whacking me with hard lessonz..all's good... gotta learn 'em sometime... better now than never.... nonetheless praise God... He's so BIG.. and so AMAZING... and just GOD... hahaha.. 'nuff said.. bow now or bow later... =D
okay.. so the verse is prettie self-explanatory. trust in the Lord with everything you have and are, believing that He's got everything under control and that in His time, His blessings will come and will come abundantly. the key part is the "in His time" part... in His time meanz not in our time... meaning that we've gotta wait on the Lord. thatz the tough part... waiting... in a world bent on quick fixes, faster this and that, and instant everythings, waiting doesn't come naturally or easily. but waiting on God's time is essential... itz in the waiting periods that He teaches us valuable and applicable lessons... its those times of waiting that He draws us nearer to Him so that we get to know Him more. and the beauty of it all is that in the end, we all know itz gonna be worth it... that all the waiting and patience will reap amazing and awesome blessings that could've only come after God has taught us the lessons we so desperately needed to learn. and so what do we do WHILE waiting? keep praying... keep persevering... keep pushing, pressing onward, relying solely on the strength of Christ to pull u through. and mostly, have faith...
just a few lessonz on patience, i guess...hahah.. my two cents.. =) lemme see.. yoah today wuz good.. learned lots thru the testimonies and stories shared... lotsa prayer, lotsa worship, lotsa fellowship... awesome times.. =) God's really moving and i'm literally scared (in a good way) to see what He's got in store for toronto... oh my... anyhow... got examz back today... PRAISE GOD! i did prettie well on 'em... never thot i would... but i did.. but i know itz not me, so it wuz really God who did well.. =) He just happened to let me have the marks.. hahaha.. =D giving Him thanx alwayz... nehoo.. need sleep... zzz...
aww.. i hurt myself again playing volleyball.. argh.. really need to be more careful.. so i skinned my knee AGAIN... 'cuz i forgot to grab my kneepads from my gym locker.. oh fun... and so yah.. and i apparently staved my thumb? something about getting some liquid in the ligament so it makes it sore... ouch.. =P and we didn't win today either.. waaahh!! no playoffz... ah wellz.. time to look forward to co-ed volleyball. hahaha.. and maybe goin to play sometimes on mondayz @ miliken, but i gotta find pplz to go with..anyhow... back to the bible.. =D
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
matthew 26:41
so true... esp the part about the body being weak... got home today so sore frum volleyball... just wanted to take a LONG nap.. but then taking a long nap would mean starting hwk later, and doing my devos much later.. didn't get a chance to do 'em this morning cuz of practice.. but yah... it would mean compromising... our spirit being willing meanz nothing if we don't control our bodies... if we don't discipline our bodies. paul said, "I beat my body and make it my slave..." we gotta let our heads rule our hearts and our spirits rule our bodies.. and sacrifice all of it to God, laying our lives at the foot of the cross... when we sacrifice.. we're obeying (as i said in earlier blogs. =) when we obey.. God can use us even more effectively to further His ministries and His kingdom... wow.. talk about lessons, eh?
and w/ university stuff coming, and marks coming... and getting exams back... i'll just end off with this...
"Don't be afraid; just believe."
mark 5:36
then we go back to the verse yesterday... jeremiah 29:11 =) itz all related...
so true... esp the part about the body being weak... got home today so sore frum volleyball... just wanted to take a LONG nap.. but then taking a long nap would mean starting hwk later, and doing my devos much later.. didn't get a chance to do 'em this morning cuz of practice.. but yah... it would mean compromising... our spirit being willing meanz nothing if we don't control our bodies... if we don't discipline our bodies. paul said, "I beat my body and make it my slave..." we gotta let our heads rule our hearts and our spirits rule our bodies.. and sacrifice all of it to God, laying our lives at the foot of the cross... when we sacrifice.. we're obeying (as i said in earlier blogs. =) when we obey.. God can use us even more effectively to further His ministries and His kingdom... wow.. talk about lessons, eh?
and w/ university stuff coming, and marks coming... and getting exams back... i'll just end off with this...
then we go back to the verse yesterday... jeremiah 29:11 =) itz all related...
PHEW!! big sigh of relief.. just found out that my english essay isn't due tomorrow.. hahaha.. PRAISE GOD! i havn't even started... nor do i know where or how to start, cuz i don't know what my topic is and i basically know nothing about what this essay is supposed to turn out as... oh my... lots to do in feb.. just looked @ my agenda.. too much stuff...ther'z univ stuff, isu's, essays, work, practices... oh my... but God'll get me thru everything.. i know He will.. i just gotta REMEMBER that...
anyhow... 'nuff about school... there'll be more than enuff blogs about that in future. right now... all i can say is... PRAISE GOD! He's good.. ALL the time... and honestly, i'm giving Him thanx and praises, but i'm also speechless when i think about all the stuff that He's done in my life. i mean sure, life can get rocky every now and then.. i mean life's somewhat rocky now, just cuz of all the stuff that i gotta balance, but i dunno... i just know that it'll all work out.. and yah, sometimes we can't help but stress, but honestly, why stress? think about the BIG picture... marks aren't gonna get u into heaven... times when u've felt left out and lonely aren't gonna matter when u're standing before the Creator of the entire universe and walking with Jesus DAILY... and plus.. here on earth, i bet that there are tonz of people that are supportive and encouraging in ur walk with God.. they're ur brothers and sisterz in Christ.. and there's tonz of 'em around to help u thru.. PRAISE GOD!
right now i'm just praisin Him for bringin my mom home from the hospital... and she's recovering really well from the operation (for those of u who know me... u know what it wuz for.. for those who don't.. just ask.. =) she got out a day early!!! yay!!! and i get to have her back at home!!! yippee!! missed her SOO much.. but yah... so thankful.. so happy.. =) God's just been working amazing thingz in my life... left, right and center... teaching me so much everyday... and i just can't get 'nuff of Him and His Word.. mm.. so good!!! gonna be my lunch for like FOREVER... hahaha.. =D february's gonna be tough, so is march... but i'm determined to be spending more time with God.. just BEING with Him.. =) so excited.. can't wait!!!!
... // pray . believe . expect . receive // ...
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